Nicole vs. Life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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