Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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