i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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