I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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