You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
