i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
