I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
