Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
