Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
