yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
