Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
