Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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