I cockslap morals
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bring me that man meat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
