he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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