I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
