My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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