This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize