is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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