i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
