please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
