finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
