Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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