We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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