thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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