Porn is love you can see.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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