You made me cry and you don't even care
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
