This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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