My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
