she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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