dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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