I'm eating all of the evidence.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's the barista slut.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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