Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
