What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
