my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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