Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do vagina's smell?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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