You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
