She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
