if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Watching her eat just hurts me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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