hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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