I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
