im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
