that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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