the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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