im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
