he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't turn off my feet"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
