smell my finger.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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