I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
