I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
