Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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