Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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