Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
