I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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