My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
