One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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