Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
