just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
