two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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