Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
