No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
