I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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