Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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